In today’s society we can’t imagine marrying someone we have never met. The idea of meeting a random stranger and choosing to love them seems foreign to us. We seem to have developed a mindset that love is a feeling or force that comes over us and we have no power over it. The TV shows and movies today encourage this view, but is that how love really happens?
I still remember the first time I met my wife. I was a bus boy in a restaurant and she came in to eat with a friend of hers. I remember looking over at her and as she talked, she smiled. It was at that moment I chose to love her. I must say that she did not choose to love me at that moment though, so I pursued her and became her friend. I became someone she could talk to and someone she enjoyed to be around. Then she chose to love me. Before she could love me though I had to reveal myself to her and draw her to me. Once she realized the overwhelming love I showed for her, then she was able to choose to love me. What I’m trying to point out here is that I had to seek her out. I had to make myself irresistible to her so that she would choose to love me. I made myself irresistible to her so that she would love me, but I did not make her love me in the sense of putting some power over her so that she had some robotic love for me.
This is how it is with us and Jesus. Jesus seeks us out. He reveals Himself to us (Matthew 16:17) and then draws us to him (John 6:44). Then we choose to love Him. This does not take away the sovereignty of God anymore than my wife choosing to love me takes away any of the effort I put into pursuing her. Had I not went up and said hi to her at that restaurant she would have walked out of my life forever. If I wouldn’t have asked a mutual friend to invite her around so that she could get to know me better, she wouldn’t be my wife today. I was the exact opposite of any thing my wife would have thought she would marry. If it was not for a mutual friend she probably would have never even said hi. Amy could have said I don’t like his long hair. I don’t like the clothes he wears. Maybe she liked my personality, but It wasn’t the appearance she wanted people to see her with.
We do not seek God out (Romans 3:11). Our sinful nature flees from God. When God seeks us out he will reveal who He is. He will become irresistible to us and draw us to Him. Then we decide do I want to give my life to this Man (2 Thessalonians 2:10). Do I want people to perceive me as being someone that would be attracted to this Jesus. Look at the story in Matthew 19:16-22. It tells of a rich young man who Jesus revealed Himself to. This young man was drawn to Jesus, but he did not want to give the appearance of someone that loved Jesus and therefore chose to turn away. This man knew who Jesus was. The father had revealed this to him. He did know that this was the way to heaven, yet he chose to turn away.
Someone may say that I stated, I chose to love my wife, and I pursued her, and that proves that God chooses to save some but not all. No, that proves that sinful man is attracted to sinful woman based on appearance, personality, or some other worldly characteristics. A Holy God does not choose people on worldly characteristics. Freewill does not lessen God’s sovereignty or the biblical truth that salvation belongs to God, it only serves to show us the grace that God extended to us.